the perks of being a sassy cunt
genies: i wish i was cute so that i could take selfies and not want to kill myself
realistic captions for selfies:
- i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
- i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
- i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
- i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
- this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments
(via jimbertimber)
one time i looked at something that had glitter on it and it got on my hands somehow
(via jimbertimber)
If humans ever evolve to get wings the first thing I’d do is fly out of the ozone layer and have myself suffocate to death
(via fuckyeahtxtposts)
| Person: | Hi I'm Christian. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm Jewish. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm Muslim. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm Wiccan. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm atheist. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm Buddhist. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I'm Hindu. |
| Me: | Cool. |
| Person: | Hi I believe in this and you're wrong so I'm going to tell you all about how wrong you are. |
| Me: | Get the fuck out of my face before I hit you in the face with a frozen turkey. |
